By George: A Rebuttal

This blog was originally released on August 17th, 2008.

I won’t normally do requests in this blog, but I was asked for an opinion about this article, and couldn’t resist (and it gave me a chance to learn just enough HTML to embed that link. Yay!). The article seems to be, at least in part, a response to the new Star Wars: Clone Wars animated flick that premieres this month. Essentially, the author begs George Lucas to stop making movies.
This seems to be a popular opinion among the geek population, and it’s one I definitely understand. Many people were able to overlook the tinkering Lucas did with the original trilogy, despite the narcissistic undertones of the project. Yeah, we all hated Greedo shooting first, and adding Jabba into the first movie was ridiculous at best (what kind of mobster allows you to walk away with your kneecaps intact after you step on him?!), but the faithful were willing to put all that aside, because we were so excited to be getting a new chapter in the saga.
And after waiting over 15 long years for a new Star Wars flick, we were all treated to…Jar Jar Binks?! That’s bound to piss people off. The gut reaction from Geek Nation was a unified howl of disbelief, mingled with a side order of outrage. “How could Lucas, the master storyteller who pulled inspiration from such intellectual and cinematic greats as Joseph Campbell and Akira Kurosawa, deliver to us this corny, over-rendered CGI ball of cheese?” complained the geek masses.
Apparently, they’d never really seen the first three movies. They’re just as corny, people. Can you seriously tell me that you can listen to Luke whine about “going to Tashi Station to pick up some power converters” and not feel the need to whack him upside the head with a decommissioned lightsaber? As Bilbo Bagshot (the sage who runs the Fantasy Bazaar comic shop on the show Spaced) once said, is Jar Jar any worse than those fuzzy little Ewoks? Not really. I think that we were treated to a perfect storm of events that revealed Lucas for what he really is: an old-fashioned cornball.
Let’s take a look at some of the projects Lucas has given the world. Original Star Wars trilogy? Corny, but good. Indiana Jones movies? Cheesy, but entertaining (he survived jumping out of a plane by riding an inflatable boat, for God’s sake!). Willow? I love it, but everyone else seems to loathe it for some reason. It’s filled with corny moments nonetheless. Then there are shows like The Ewok Adventure, and the Star Wars Holiday Special (which featured Chewbacca on his home planet of Kashyyyk). I mean, the name of his planet has 3 y’s in it. What part about Lucas’s cornball status is in question here?
All the last trilogy did was expose George for good. The cornball factor was less apparent in his other movies, but the leaps in technology that have been made since have allowed even Lucas’s cheesiest ideas to see fruition. C-3PO “losing his head” on Geonosis in Attack of the Clones is a prime example (Hell, the title “Attack of the Clones” is a prime example, although it has nothing to do with updated tech).
The real question people should be asking themselves is, “Is cheesy really that bad?” True, I’ve always enjoyed self-aware cheesiness (called camp, for the uninitiated) more than the accidental sort, but is there really that much of a difference between the two? You’re still getting cheese.
No, I think the real problem is that this latest trilogy was missing the one thing that the majority of geeks have lost since the first trilogy. No, not their virginity (they’re “saving” that for the girl who will dress up for them as Slave Girl Leia). I’m talking about their sense of childhood wonder. When you’re a kid almost nothing seems corny, so we accepted Ewoks and whiny saviors alike. But as jaded and cynical adults (who, even worse, are sexually frustrated), they are no longer willing or able to overlook the corny parts and enjoy the whole.
Lucas has created an entire universe. To simply attempt such a feat takes some serious cajones. Yes, there are corny patches, but the story as a whole is extremely satisfying. Don’t think this is just about the movies. The original trilogy is great, the second is fine, but the real meat of Lucas’s universe isn’t on the silver screen. It’s in the myriad books and comics that have come since the “Holy Trinity” was released.
Anyone who’s read Timothy Zahn’s Thrawn Trilogy (which stars Luke, Leia and the gang and takes place after Jedi) will tell you they would have much rather seen it made into movies than The Phantom Menace and its two buddies. Anyone who has read the comic book Knights of the Old Republic and seen its wonderfully detailed art will tell you that it blows The Ewok Adventure out of the water.
The reason behind this is simple: these were written by actual writers. Lucas is not a writer; he is an idea man. I know, because we can smell our own kind. Idea men may write and produce works that capture the imagination, but the actual writing is usually adequate at best. Just look at the dialogue in any Star Wars movie. It’s as wooden as R2’s ancient ancestors. But the world he has created is as real and varied as our own. Lucas had created one of the greatest playgrounds in all of creation, and a multitude of writers and artists have made the most of it.
So let’s give old George a break. Instead of acting like spoiled kids on Christmas who didn't get the present they wanted, instead of mocking him for his bad dialogue and cheesy writing, we should be thanking him for creating a place where talented writers and artists can go to let loose and express themselves. I hope that one day I may find myself in such a position, disgruntled geeks and all.