Pub Quiz Fun

I haven't posted anything here in quite some time. Why's that? Because I've been working, and part of work includes blogging. I'm now a quizmaster for Geeks Who Drink, a company with pub quizzes (aka trivia) in Colorado, New Mexico, Texas, Utah, and Washington. I thought I'd post my latest blog here on the Garden, on the off chance that some of you may be interested, or live near a Geeks pub quiz. It's a lot of fun (expect some blue language), they're free to play, and you get chances to win gift cards and free pints, so don't pass up the chance to check it out if you've got one in your area. Interested in reading some of my other Geeks blogs? Check out my entries under The Clock Tower Grill (my home blog), or my guest entries at The British Bulldog, The Doghouse, The Irish Hound, Moe's BBQ, and Milo's Sports Tavern (coming tomorrow), all located in Denver. I go by the name Gryffindork.


This place might be small, but they know how to make some grub!

There are three ways to a man’s heart. The first is by stimulating his mind. Provide good conversation, watch an occasional hockey or football game with him, read the same books or watch the same movies as him, and you may just win him for the long haul.

The second route is through his penis. This route can rarely be taken concurrently with the first, since men have two heads and only enough blood to operate one at a time. Wow him with your bojingo, do things that his mom told him “good” girls don’t do, and he’ll beat a bag full of puppies with a hammer for more, although he will be racked with remorse once he regains control of his faculties. And why not? Who in their right mind brutalizes puppies?! That’s fucked up!

The last way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Cook something a man craves, and he’ll be thinking about you every time he gets hungry, which is approximately 10 times a day. Ok, so he’ll more likely be thinking about your food, but that, ultimately, is an extension of you, right?

The Doghouse took the last route to this quizmaster’s heart. I’ve eaten at my fair share of pubs since I started this job, and The Doghouse Tavern beats ‘em all! The menu is relatively small, and that might be a good thing. When it comes to cuisine, doing a few things extremely well is better than doing a bunch of things in a mediocre manner. I had the burger smothered in chile verde, but the real story was the chile verde-covered pulled pork sandwich that my girlfriend ordered. Great smokey taste with a little kick, and nice and big to boot. If you are in the area and pass it up, then you will earn yourself a place in a special hell made for unbaptized retarded kids, and fans of Twilight and Justin Bieber over the age of 10.

As for the quiz itself, well, Lisa led me to believe that you guys would heckle me a bit, and generally give me shit. I’m always down for a crowd with some attitude, but I found the ‘tude largely lacking last night. Perhaps you have to know someone better before you’re comfortable heckling them. It’s cool, though. You guys were a lot of fun, and I think we all enjoyed ourselves, despite the non-quizlings who wouldn’t shut the hell up.

This is half of the Twenty O’Clock Shadows and Patrice. She’s in charge around these parts, and she calls you things like “honey” and “babe.” So if you’re starved and/or starved for attention, then the Doghouse is the place for you!

It’s Unofficial Awards Time!
Team Name of the Week goes to Two “Gents” & a Jew (I literally just got the “Gents” joke as I was writing this). I smell a sitcom! Surely the Jew can write, right?
The Public Enemy #1 Award goes to the Twenty O’Clock Shadows, the only team to correctly identify Public Enemy’s “911 Is a Joke” in our first audio round.
The Dumbass Award goes to me for forgetting to tell you the theme to that first audio round. I’m a wee bit surprised that no one called me on it, to be honest. I offered to roll through the round again, but apparently you were confident that you either knew it or you didn’t.
The Surprise of the Week was seeing three teams joker the T’d Off round. This kind of mind-bending round usually gets a groan of disdain, but you all did quite well on it (and Two “Gents” & a Jew even pulled off the only perfect round of the night). Well done, everyone.
The Who Remembers That Shit?! Award goes to The Furr-Burgers, who gave me the names of not one, but both of Marty McFly’s siblings (Linda & Dave). Who remembers that shit?!
The Huey Lewis & The News Fan Club Award is shared by Poo Drizzle and The Furr-Burgers, who gave me the names of both Huey Lewis songs featured in Back To the Future. You guys are so square, you’re hip!
The Answer of the Week goes to Peeing In Public, who decided Rich “Goose” Gossage’s nickname was “The Ejaculator.” I’d hate to be catching what he was pitching.

This week’s E-mail Bonus Question winner was Troy, the proud new owner of onion ring-flavored breath mints. Helps you bang a carnie every time, or your money back!


6th Place: The Wackness
Contrary to their name, they were not, in fact, wack.


5th Place: Peeing In Public
At least, I hope they’re peeing.


4th Place: Poo Drizzle
They took 4th despite missing the first three rounds! Impressive.


3rd Place: Two “Gents” & a Jew
There may be only one Jew on the team, but I bet they’re all circumcised. God Bless America!


2nd Place: Twenty O’Clock Shadows
They led most of the way, but couldn’t quite hold off the night’s winners. But they like Bad Religion, so really, they’re winners anyway.


1st Place: The Furr-Burgers
They lulled everyone into a false sense of security before slipping into 1st in the final round, ninja style.



Final Scores:

The Furr-Burgers                      66
Twenty O’Clock Shadows                60
Two “Gents” & a Jew                   57
Poo Drizzle                           42
Peeing In Public                      41
The Wackness                          35