Your Mamma's Such a Muggle...

For true Potterphiles.
And yeah, I admit that a lot of these are lame, but I was deliriously sick when I wrote them, so yeah.
Think you can do better? Post your own "Your mamma's such a muggle..." jokes in the comments! I'd love to hear more. :)


Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that The Boy Who Lived was a movie on Lifetime.

Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that a broom is for sweeping.

Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that an engorgement charm is the wizarding equivalent of Viagra.

Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that the Weird Sisters are chicks.

Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that the Chamber of Secrets is something a girl should keep to herself until she’s married.

Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that a Norwegian Ridgeback is a dog.

Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that Moaning Myrtle is an adult film.

Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that Aragog is a character in Lord of the Rings.

Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that Felix Felicis was that old black and white cartoon cat.

Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that the Order of the Phoenix is an item on a Chinese take-out menu.

Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that Sirius Black is an eye shadow color.

Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that the Goblet of Fire is a flaming shot.

Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that the Death Stick is a new metal band. \m/ \m/

Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that a fidelius charm is a girlier version of a purity ring.

Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that a Longbottom is a kind of boat.

Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that St. Mungo’s is a Catholic hospital.

Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that’s Edward, not Cedric.

Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that Mad-Eye Moody is a sign that her kid’s on drugs.

Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that a Death Eater is something you see at the circus.

Your mamma’s such a muggle she can’t tell the difference between a Knarl and a hedgehog.

Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that catching the golden snitch means you need antibiotics.