Just because I'm bored.
There once was a man from California
Who thought it'd be prudent to warn ya
If you dress like a ho
Wherever you go
Ain't nobody gonna respect ya.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Introducing The Quote of the Day
In order to keep things interesting around here, I've decided to implement "The Quote of the Day" here in the Garden. Each day that I don't release a blog will at least have a quote of some sort. I've been collecting quotes for years, so I've got a variety of quotes to make you laugh, think, etc.
So come by once a day to see what's up. I'll continue to post links on Facebook when I actually write something (become a fan of The Octopus's Garden on Facebook if you haven't already!), but I won't bother for the quotes.
As always, feel free to comment. It lets me know two things: 1. I get to know your thoughts on an issue (something that is important to me, because I like getting involved in discussions). 2. I get to feel like I actually have an audience. Sometimes I feel like Dr. Ian Malcolm from Jurassic Park: "See, here I'm now sitting by myself, uh, er, talking to myself." (That wasn't the quote of the day.)
Quote for January 24th, 2010:
"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." --Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)
So come by once a day to see what's up. I'll continue to post links on Facebook when I actually write something (become a fan of The Octopus's Garden on Facebook if you haven't already!), but I won't bother for the quotes.
As always, feel free to comment. It lets me know two things: 1. I get to know your thoughts on an issue (something that is important to me, because I like getting involved in discussions). 2. I get to feel like I actually have an audience. Sometimes I feel like Dr. Ian Malcolm from Jurassic Park: "See, here I'm now sitting by myself, uh, er, talking to myself." (That wasn't the quote of the day.)
Quote for January 24th, 2010:
"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." --Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
The Bastard: 50 Ways To Be a Special Roommate
In honor of my obnoxious roommate (who seems to be slowly moving out!), I give you this list, originally published on January 6th, 2009.
1. Take your roommate’s shit without asking. They’ll appreciate the lack of clutter that you’ve helped them achieve.
2. Use all the hot water. It loosens up the skin, so your roomies will thank you for the tight, firm skin provided by the ice-cold water they will be forced to use after you’ve finished creating your own personal sauna.
3. If you have a significant other, do your best to scream at them on a daily basis. This will provide a sense of structure to your roommate’s day, providing joy and comfort. Makes sure the arguments are completely superfluous and imbecilic. And don’t forget: you can never be loud enough!
4. Eat whatever you want out of the fridge. This will help them eat less, keeping them slim and in shape. Make sure not to replace it! That would defeat the purpose.
5. Never leave the house. Your roommates will appreciate your constant presence.
6. Anticipate your roommate’s actions. If you think they’re heading for the tiny kitchen you share, get there first. If you think they want to do laundry, sneak a load in before them.
7. Speaking of laundry, do it every day. Every day! If possible, do it while they are in the shower, stealing the modicum of hot water that you may have accidentally left after your own shower.
8. Buy annoying pets that bark at the slightest provocation and piss on your roommate’s bed. The urine is essential to making them feel like a part of the family.
9. If your roommates have pets, make sure your pet eats as much of their food as possible. I recommend not feeding your own pet to facilitate this.
10. Invite your friends to stay over for indefinite periods of time. Your roommates will appreciate the extra company and thank you for introducing them to new and exciting homeless people.
11. Speaking of which, make obnoxious friends, and bring them over constantly. This will keep your roommates on their toes, helping to keep their minds nimble.
12. Buy a small refrigerator and freezer, then stuff it as full as you can. See #4 for reasoning.
13. Leave your stuff everywhere. Does your roommate have a bookshelf in the living room? Put picture frames on it. Do they have their own bathroom? Put some random nick-knacks in it, despite never using it.
14. Remember: toilet paper is evil. Take one for the team and use as much as possible to save them from a papery death. Never offer to replace the thin little bits of evil, but if you must, buy single-ply. And remember, the texture you’re aiming for is sandpaper.
15. Keep the door locked at all times, even when you’re home. You never know when that serial rapist might come around. This is especially essential if your roommates have gone shopping at Costco.
16. When cooking, never clean your mess. Roommates, by nature, love to clean, especially other people’s messes. A filthy kitchen is to a roommate what crack is to a crackhead.
17. If you borrow a movie, make sure not to return it. Leave them lying around the house. Roommates love a scavenger hunt.
18. If your roommate is a recovering alcoholic, do your best to drink in front of them as much as possible. This will strengthen their willpower.
19. Leave all the lights on that you can. Leave up (and use!) your Christmas lights until mid-June. (If your roommate is the aforementioned alcoholic, this will help them stay too broke to afford to fall off the wagon.)
20. In winter, keep the thermostat at a mild 85 degrees. In summer, 55 should do nicely.
21. If you get up before your roommates, be as loud as you can. Stand outside their door and loudly talk on your cell phone, slam cupboard doors, or yell at your dog to be quiet. And please, think of this as the perfect time for one of those loud fights with your significant other.
22. Remember: the sound of slamming doors is like the laughter of children to a roommate’s ears.
23. Buy as much useless crap as you can, then spread it all over the house. Nothing livens up the living room like an empty Corona bottle piñata.
24. Never get the mail. If you can, throw out or hide their credit card statements. They're stressful!
25. Buy four cars. The lack of parking will encourage your roommates to buy bikes, thus helping them stay fit. Fill your garage with boxes if you have to.
26. Use whatever you want, whenever you want. Asking is for pussies.
27. Never forget the first rule of roommates: Mi underwear es su underwear.
28. Leave your cat’s vomit on the floor for at least a month. Ask it to pay rent.
29. Move their shit around. Tell them a ghost did it.
30. Watch movies in the middle of the night. Make sure that subwoofer is turned up all the way! It will rumble them to sleep like wee little babies.
31. Use their wardrobe to soak up the oil on the driveway. They need new clothes anyway.
32. Do your best to interrupt them during coitus/masturbation as much as possible. It adds adventure to their experience.
33. Are your roommates allergic to pollen? Sounds like someone needs a get-well bouquet!
34. Have Tivo? Delete their shows. That’s what repeats are for. Besides, it’ll give them time to finish that book they’ve been reading.
35. Break something, then throw it out. Deny all knowledge of said item.
36. Never, under any circumstances, break down cardboard boxes before putting them in the recycling or trash.
37. Never take a crap in your own bathroom. That's what their bathroom is for. (Remember #14?)
38. Buy them something they hate, then act hurt when they thank you in an obviously insincere manner.
39. Change the locks. Forget to give them a copy of the new key. The best time for this is winter.
40. Use all the milk. When asked to buy more, conveniently “forget” to do so until they get fed up and buy it themselves.
41. Over the course of the year, slowly steal money out of their change jar.
42. Have sex with your door open. When they pass by, call them a pervert. Or invite them in. If they agree, ask them how they feel about being anally penetrated by large household items.
43. If your roommate is single, set him up on a date with the ugliest friend you can find. Forget to tell him that “Shannon” is actually a dude.
44. Institute casual Fridays. Wear nothing but flip-flops.
45. When watching the game, flip to Lifetime during the most crucial moment. Tell them you need a quick, cleansing cry.
46. Have pink eye? Fart on their pillow.
47. Put up a live webcam in their room. Neglect to tell them.
48. Sneak into their room to watch them sleep. If they wake up and freak out, tell them they never minded before. Pants optional.
49. Use their computer to look at porn sites. When asked, deny all knowledge of hornyseptuagenarianbeastlovers.com.
50. Never, ever treat them like a human being worthy of compassion and respect. All roommates are masochists. Otherwise, why the hell would they be living with you?
1. Take your roommate’s shit without asking. They’ll appreciate the lack of clutter that you’ve helped them achieve.
2. Use all the hot water. It loosens up the skin, so your roomies will thank you for the tight, firm skin provided by the ice-cold water they will be forced to use after you’ve finished creating your own personal sauna.
3. If you have a significant other, do your best to scream at them on a daily basis. This will provide a sense of structure to your roommate’s day, providing joy and comfort. Makes sure the arguments are completely superfluous and imbecilic. And don’t forget: you can never be loud enough!
4. Eat whatever you want out of the fridge. This will help them eat less, keeping them slim and in shape. Make sure not to replace it! That would defeat the purpose.
5. Never leave the house. Your roommates will appreciate your constant presence.
6. Anticipate your roommate’s actions. If you think they’re heading for the tiny kitchen you share, get there first. If you think they want to do laundry, sneak a load in before them.
7. Speaking of laundry, do it every day. Every day! If possible, do it while they are in the shower, stealing the modicum of hot water that you may have accidentally left after your own shower.
8. Buy annoying pets that bark at the slightest provocation and piss on your roommate’s bed. The urine is essential to making them feel like a part of the family.
9. If your roommates have pets, make sure your pet eats as much of their food as possible. I recommend not feeding your own pet to facilitate this.
10. Invite your friends to stay over for indefinite periods of time. Your roommates will appreciate the extra company and thank you for introducing them to new and exciting homeless people.
11. Speaking of which, make obnoxious friends, and bring them over constantly. This will keep your roommates on their toes, helping to keep their minds nimble.
12. Buy a small refrigerator and freezer, then stuff it as full as you can. See #4 for reasoning.
13. Leave your stuff everywhere. Does your roommate have a bookshelf in the living room? Put picture frames on it. Do they have their own bathroom? Put some random nick-knacks in it, despite never using it.
14. Remember: toilet paper is evil. Take one for the team and use as much as possible to save them from a papery death. Never offer to replace the thin little bits of evil, but if you must, buy single-ply. And remember, the texture you’re aiming for is sandpaper.
15. Keep the door locked at all times, even when you’re home. You never know when that serial rapist might come around. This is especially essential if your roommates have gone shopping at Costco.
16. When cooking, never clean your mess. Roommates, by nature, love to clean, especially other people’s messes. A filthy kitchen is to a roommate what crack is to a crackhead.
17. If you borrow a movie, make sure not to return it. Leave them lying around the house. Roommates love a scavenger hunt.
18. If your roommate is a recovering alcoholic, do your best to drink in front of them as much as possible. This will strengthen their willpower.
19. Leave all the lights on that you can. Leave up (and use!) your Christmas lights until mid-June. (If your roommate is the aforementioned alcoholic, this will help them stay too broke to afford to fall off the wagon.)
20. In winter, keep the thermostat at a mild 85 degrees. In summer, 55 should do nicely.
21. If you get up before your roommates, be as loud as you can. Stand outside their door and loudly talk on your cell phone, slam cupboard doors, or yell at your dog to be quiet. And please, think of this as the perfect time for one of those loud fights with your significant other.
22. Remember: the sound of slamming doors is like the laughter of children to a roommate’s ears.
23. Buy as much useless crap as you can, then spread it all over the house. Nothing livens up the living room like an empty Corona bottle piñata.
24. Never get the mail. If you can, throw out or hide their credit card statements. They're stressful!
25. Buy four cars. The lack of parking will encourage your roommates to buy bikes, thus helping them stay fit. Fill your garage with boxes if you have to.
26. Use whatever you want, whenever you want. Asking is for pussies.
27. Never forget the first rule of roommates: Mi underwear es su underwear.
28. Leave your cat’s vomit on the floor for at least a month. Ask it to pay rent.
29. Move their shit around. Tell them a ghost did it.
30. Watch movies in the middle of the night. Make sure that subwoofer is turned up all the way! It will rumble them to sleep like wee little babies.
31. Use their wardrobe to soak up the oil on the driveway. They need new clothes anyway.
32. Do your best to interrupt them during coitus/masturbation as much as possible. It adds adventure to their experience.
33. Are your roommates allergic to pollen? Sounds like someone needs a get-well bouquet!
34. Have Tivo? Delete their shows. That’s what repeats are for. Besides, it’ll give them time to finish that book they’ve been reading.
35. Break something, then throw it out. Deny all knowledge of said item.
36. Never, under any circumstances, break down cardboard boxes before putting them in the recycling or trash.
37. Never take a crap in your own bathroom. That's what their bathroom is for. (Remember #14?)
38. Buy them something they hate, then act hurt when they thank you in an obviously insincere manner.
39. Change the locks. Forget to give them a copy of the new key. The best time for this is winter.
40. Use all the milk. When asked to buy more, conveniently “forget” to do so until they get fed up and buy it themselves.
41. Over the course of the year, slowly steal money out of their change jar.
42. Have sex with your door open. When they pass by, call them a pervert. Or invite them in. If they agree, ask them how they feel about being anally penetrated by large household items.
43. If your roommate is single, set him up on a date with the ugliest friend you can find. Forget to tell him that “Shannon” is actually a dude.
44. Institute casual Fridays. Wear nothing but flip-flops.
45. When watching the game, flip to Lifetime during the most crucial moment. Tell them you need a quick, cleansing cry.
46. Have pink eye? Fart on their pillow.
47. Put up a live webcam in their room. Neglect to tell them.
48. Sneak into their room to watch them sleep. If they wake up and freak out, tell them they never minded before. Pants optional.
49. Use their computer to look at porn sites. When asked, deny all knowledge of hornyseptuagenarianbeastlovers.com.
50. Never, ever treat them like a human being worthy of compassion and respect. All roommates are masochists. Otherwise, why the hell would they be living with you?
Introducing Polymathic J
Well, I've introduced The Buddhist & The Bastard, but I never really introduced myself. So, in the interest of rectifying that (and because I haven't had much time to write lately), I give you "25 Random Things About Me," something that was circulating around Facebook a year ago (this was originally released January 31st, 2009). I suppose this means that most of you have already read it, but there are finally at least a few people reading this blog who don't know me at all (woo-hoo!), so this one's for you guys. Thanks for the support. Hope it amuses you.
Oh, and for those of you who know me, just refer to me as J here in the Garden. No need for people to know too much about my crazy ass.
I hear undead syphilitic hookers will devour my friends and family if I don’t join in on this thing, so here goes. So if I tagged you in this (Facebook users), you're supposed to make your own list. But don't feel obligated. I'm sure your loved ones will enjoy being VD-carrying zombies.
1. I have 20/800 vision in my right eye and 20/850 in my left. Let’s put this in perspective: Find something 800 feet away. See how blurry that is? That’s how clearly I see something 20 feet away. And that’s my good eye. I’m so blind that I’ve only met one person who has vision worse than me, and he was legally blind (no joke).
2. I make a list every year of all the books I read. I hear my Grandma did this too, although I struck upon the idea independently. Last year’s total: 7 (by far an all-time low). This year’s total thus far: 5.
3. I’m afraid of heights. This does not stop me from wanting to skydive, although I imagine I’d need help out of the door. And I’d probably piss myself. Sorry instructor guy.
4. I miss California immensely, and my home town even more so. I miss living in the woods.
5. I believe that Coke is the nectar of the gods (Screw ambrosia! Who even knows what that is?!). Give me a Pepsi when I ask for a Coke, and you risk losing an eye.
6. I believe that, when viewed objectively, sex is just about the silliest act one can commit. This does not stop me from enjoying it.
7. Speaking of sex, if I was forced to have hairy man-sex, I’d probably pick Colin Ferguson (he plays Sheriff Carter on the show Eureka) to be my first. He seems like he’d be gentle. That said, I’d much prefer some alone time with his castmate, Salli Richardson. What a babe!
8. I love all things Anthony Bourdain. If you have the Travel Channel and aren't watching No Reservations (Monday nights!) then you should be thrown in jail. Just finished his book, Kitchen Confidential, and loved every second of it. I seriously don’t recall ever laughing out loud so much while reading. In fact, on one occasion I literally had to bite my fingers to keep from waking my girlfriend.
9. Speaking of my girlfriend, she is the best. I’m totally retarded for her.
10. I believe that everyone (but especially the wealthy) should be forced to live off of a crappy job like Pizza Hut for at least a year or two. I think the world would be a kinder place as a result.
11. I have a relatively large tattoo on my back, and hope to one day have the money to get the rest of it covered (my back, not the tattoo).
12. My dream is to write a book. If it gets published and you don’t buy it, I will come find you.
13. I think the phrase “drugs and alcohol” is a farce. I’m sorry to inform you that if you honestly believe that alcohol is not a drug, well, you’re a moron.
14. If I had three wishes, one of them would probably be spent on going back in time and convincing myself that no, that mullet does not look good on me. In fact, I’d just buy myself a new wardrobe (and glasses). And then I’d chastise my parents for allowing me to walk around looking like the world’s biggest dork. Never let anyone tell you that personality doesn’t go a long way, because I never would have had girlfriends if it didn’t.
15. If forced to choose between saving a drowning dog and a drowning human, I honestly don’t know who would get saved. This should tell you three things. 1. I love animals. 2. I don’t have much respect for humans. 3. You should really learn to swim.
16. I love the Niners and Sharks. They make September through May/June worth living through (although it does get a bit depressing seeing the Niners suck and the Sharks lose in the second round every year). The absence of football and hockey is one of the reasons I’m not a fan of summer.
17. I think Hawaii is the most overrated vacation destination of all time. Been there twice, was unimpressed both times (although snorkeling in Cook’s Cove was, admittedly, a hell of a lot of fun). Want a better tropical destination? Try Costa Rica. It’s probably cheaper, too.
18. I finally got to visit Italy a little over a year ago. I fell in love with Venice. If I’m ever filthy rich, I’m totally buying an apartment there. Preferably on the top floor. And Michelangelo’s David? The most awe-inspiring work of art I have ever witnessed with my own two eyes. It’s perfection almost (almost!) brought tears to my eyes.
19. I love America, but anyone who says we’re the greatest country in the world has never been out of this country. We’ve got a great country, and it may be the one you prefer above all others, but it is definitely a fixer-upper in need of a lot of work.
20. I like cupcakes.
21. I am an unrepentant geek. I love comics, Harry Potter, and Firefly. Wanna fight about it?
22. The Beatles are unquestionably my favorite group of all time. Despite that, my favorite genre of music is hip-hop. This honky got some soul, na’mean? (For you crackers in the crowd, that means “Do you understand what I mean, fine ladies and distinguished gentlemen?” And yes, I use it ironically. Have you seen me?! I’m practically an albino!)
23. I am, on rare occasions, a smart ass. (wink, wink)
24. I am, on frequent occasions, a pompous ass.
25. I believe the fact that I only got about 5 ½ hours of sleep last night may have slightly affected the tone of this list.
Oh, and for those of you who know me, just refer to me as J here in the Garden. No need for people to know too much about my crazy ass.
I hear undead syphilitic hookers will devour my friends and family if I don’t join in on this thing, so here goes. So if I tagged you in this (Facebook users), you're supposed to make your own list. But don't feel obligated. I'm sure your loved ones will enjoy being VD-carrying zombies.
1. I have 20/800 vision in my right eye and 20/850 in my left. Let’s put this in perspective: Find something 800 feet away. See how blurry that is? That’s how clearly I see something 20 feet away. And that’s my good eye. I’m so blind that I’ve only met one person who has vision worse than me, and he was legally blind (no joke).
2. I make a list every year of all the books I read. I hear my Grandma did this too, although I struck upon the idea independently. Last year’s total: 7 (by far an all-time low). This year’s total thus far: 5.
3. I’m afraid of heights. This does not stop me from wanting to skydive, although I imagine I’d need help out of the door. And I’d probably piss myself. Sorry instructor guy.
4. I miss California immensely, and my home town even more so. I miss living in the woods.
5. I believe that Coke is the nectar of the gods (Screw ambrosia! Who even knows what that is?!). Give me a Pepsi when I ask for a Coke, and you risk losing an eye.
6. I believe that, when viewed objectively, sex is just about the silliest act one can commit. This does not stop me from enjoying it.
7. Speaking of sex, if I was forced to have hairy man-sex, I’d probably pick Colin Ferguson (he plays Sheriff Carter on the show Eureka) to be my first. He seems like he’d be gentle. That said, I’d much prefer some alone time with his castmate, Salli Richardson. What a babe!
8. I love all things Anthony Bourdain. If you have the Travel Channel and aren't watching No Reservations (Monday nights!) then you should be thrown in jail. Just finished his book, Kitchen Confidential, and loved every second of it. I seriously don’t recall ever laughing out loud so much while reading. In fact, on one occasion I literally had to bite my fingers to keep from waking my girlfriend.
9. Speaking of my girlfriend, she is the best. I’m totally retarded for her.
10. I believe that everyone (but especially the wealthy) should be forced to live off of a crappy job like Pizza Hut for at least a year or two. I think the world would be a kinder place as a result.
11. I have a relatively large tattoo on my back, and hope to one day have the money to get the rest of it covered (my back, not the tattoo).
12. My dream is to write a book. If it gets published and you don’t buy it, I will come find you.
13. I think the phrase “drugs and alcohol” is a farce. I’m sorry to inform you that if you honestly believe that alcohol is not a drug, well, you’re a moron.
14. If I had three wishes, one of them would probably be spent on going back in time and convincing myself that no, that mullet does not look good on me. In fact, I’d just buy myself a new wardrobe (and glasses). And then I’d chastise my parents for allowing me to walk around looking like the world’s biggest dork. Never let anyone tell you that personality doesn’t go a long way, because I never would have had girlfriends if it didn’t.
15. If forced to choose between saving a drowning dog and a drowning human, I honestly don’t know who would get saved. This should tell you three things. 1. I love animals. 2. I don’t have much respect for humans. 3. You should really learn to swim.
16. I love the Niners and Sharks. They make September through May/June worth living through (although it does get a bit depressing seeing the Niners suck and the Sharks lose in the second round every year). The absence of football and hockey is one of the reasons I’m not a fan of summer.
17. I think Hawaii is the most overrated vacation destination of all time. Been there twice, was unimpressed both times (although snorkeling in Cook’s Cove was, admittedly, a hell of a lot of fun). Want a better tropical destination? Try Costa Rica. It’s probably cheaper, too.
18. I finally got to visit Italy a little over a year ago. I fell in love with Venice. If I’m ever filthy rich, I’m totally buying an apartment there. Preferably on the top floor. And Michelangelo’s David? The most awe-inspiring work of art I have ever witnessed with my own two eyes. It’s perfection almost (almost!) brought tears to my eyes.
19. I love America, but anyone who says we’re the greatest country in the world has never been out of this country. We’ve got a great country, and it may be the one you prefer above all others, but it is definitely a fixer-upper in need of a lot of work.
20. I like cupcakes.
21. I am an unrepentant geek. I love comics, Harry Potter, and Firefly. Wanna fight about it?
22. The Beatles are unquestionably my favorite group of all time. Despite that, my favorite genre of music is hip-hop. This honky got some soul, na’mean? (For you crackers in the crowd, that means “Do you understand what I mean, fine ladies and distinguished gentlemen?” And yes, I use it ironically. Have you seen me?! I’m practically an albino!)
23. I am, on rare occasions, a smart ass. (wink, wink)
24. I am, on frequent occasions, a pompous ass.
25. I believe the fact that I only got about 5 ½ hours of sleep last night may have slightly affected the tone of this list.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Roger Goodell: Bane of the NFL
I won’t write many blogs on sports here in the Garden, but the recent news that the San Francisco 49ers will be playing a “home” game next season in London has raised my ire.
I appreciate that there are NFL fans in Europe, and I understand that it must be tough to catch games in the wee hours of the morning. Anyone who stays up until 3 or 4 in the morning watching a live NFL game is a true fan, without a doubt. However, it is unfair to send American teams across the Atlantic to play, especially when the "home" team is being robbed of home field advantage.
The simple fact of the matter is that traveling to Europe takes a physical toll that can take days or weeks to recover from, especially for a West Coast team like my Niners. I, a mere tourist, went to Italy a couple of years ago, and I didn't sleep right for 3 or 4 days once I arrived. I'd go to bed around 10-12, then find myself waking up around 2-3 in the morning, utterly unable to get back to sleep. Imagine trying to compete in a highly physical contest on a professional level while sleep deprived. That's a recipe for injury. Then there's the trip back to the US, with further sleep issues. That's at least two weeks in which the affected teams aren't getting the rest that they need in the middle of a grueling, physical season. It's just plain unfair to the athletes, not to mention dangerous.
The truth is that Roger Goodell, the commissioner of the NFL, is too busy devising ways to make extra money to care about the players or teams in his charge. He cares nothing for the players; he cares nothing for the game. If he did, he wouldn't risk the health of his players by sending them to JetLagLand. He wouldn’t be considering extending an already long and physical season to 17 or 18 games. He never would have implemented the Draconian rules that require penalties for the displays of joy that one sees from a guy like Chad Ochocinco. Some consider his antics to be the actions of an attention-seeker; I merely see a guy with genuine love for the game, and who does his best to enjoy his short time in an elite sport (and entertain the fans while he’s at it). And speaking of Chad, a commissioner who cared would have let him wear the number of his recently deceased friend and teammate, Chris Henry, for one game. Who would that have hurt? I'm actually surprised that Goodell didn't ok that idea simply so that he could sell limited-edition Ochocino #15 jerseys.
I understand that the NFL is a business and that money must be made, but, in my opinion, it is first and foremost a form of entertainment. This means that the final product is for the fans. I've got nothing against the European fans, but the fact is that there was an NFL Europe and it folded. With all due respect to those in Europe, they had their chance and it didn’t work out. Bringing US teams across the Atlantic to satisfy an enthusiastic minority is unfair to the players and fans of the teams involved. Want an NFL game in Europe? Hold the Pro Bowl there. It’s a throw away game that has no impact on the season, and features the best players in the league. Sounds like a great deal for the European fans, as well as for the players who get to go.
Holding regular season games in Europe is unfair to the "home” team involved, giving the visiting team the advantage of a neutral field. It's dangerous for the players, whose circadian rhythms are blown out of whack for at least two weeks, increasing their risk of injury. It's unfair to the fans that are robbed of a chance to watch their team play a true home game, and it’s unfair to the “expatriate” fans of the visiting team that get robbed of their once-every-eight-years chance to watch their team in person.
This is about money, plain and simple, and it disgusts me to see this blatant disregard for the teams, players, and fans that are the foundation of this league. Until Goodell’s attitude is adjusted, I fear that money, not the players or fans, will be the NFL’s priority. And that’s poor entertainment indeed.
I appreciate that there are NFL fans in Europe, and I understand that it must be tough to catch games in the wee hours of the morning. Anyone who stays up until 3 or 4 in the morning watching a live NFL game is a true fan, without a doubt. However, it is unfair to send American teams across the Atlantic to play, especially when the "home" team is being robbed of home field advantage.
The simple fact of the matter is that traveling to Europe takes a physical toll that can take days or weeks to recover from, especially for a West Coast team like my Niners. I, a mere tourist, went to Italy a couple of years ago, and I didn't sleep right for 3 or 4 days once I arrived. I'd go to bed around 10-12, then find myself waking up around 2-3 in the morning, utterly unable to get back to sleep. Imagine trying to compete in a highly physical contest on a professional level while sleep deprived. That's a recipe for injury. Then there's the trip back to the US, with further sleep issues. That's at least two weeks in which the affected teams aren't getting the rest that they need in the middle of a grueling, physical season. It's just plain unfair to the athletes, not to mention dangerous.
The truth is that Roger Goodell, the commissioner of the NFL, is too busy devising ways to make extra money to care about the players or teams in his charge. He cares nothing for the players; he cares nothing for the game. If he did, he wouldn't risk the health of his players by sending them to JetLagLand. He wouldn’t be considering extending an already long and physical season to 17 or 18 games. He never would have implemented the Draconian rules that require penalties for the displays of joy that one sees from a guy like Chad Ochocinco. Some consider his antics to be the actions of an attention-seeker; I merely see a guy with genuine love for the game, and who does his best to enjoy his short time in an elite sport (and entertain the fans while he’s at it). And speaking of Chad, a commissioner who cared would have let him wear the number of his recently deceased friend and teammate, Chris Henry, for one game. Who would that have hurt? I'm actually surprised that Goodell didn't ok that idea simply so that he could sell limited-edition Ochocino #15 jerseys.
I understand that the NFL is a business and that money must be made, but, in my opinion, it is first and foremost a form of entertainment. This means that the final product is for the fans. I've got nothing against the European fans, but the fact is that there was an NFL Europe and it folded. With all due respect to those in Europe, they had their chance and it didn’t work out. Bringing US teams across the Atlantic to satisfy an enthusiastic minority is unfair to the players and fans of the teams involved. Want an NFL game in Europe? Hold the Pro Bowl there. It’s a throw away game that has no impact on the season, and features the best players in the league. Sounds like a great deal for the European fans, as well as for the players who get to go.
Holding regular season games in Europe is unfair to the "home” team involved, giving the visiting team the advantage of a neutral field. It's dangerous for the players, whose circadian rhythms are blown out of whack for at least two weeks, increasing their risk of injury. It's unfair to the fans that are robbed of a chance to watch their team play a true home game, and it’s unfair to the “expatriate” fans of the visiting team that get robbed of their once-every-eight-years chance to watch their team in person.
This is about money, plain and simple, and it disgusts me to see this blatant disregard for the teams, players, and fans that are the foundation of this league. Until Goodell’s attitude is adjusted, I fear that money, not the players or fans, will be the NFL’s priority. And that’s poor entertainment indeed.
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