For true Potterphiles.
And yeah, I admit that a lot of these are lame, but I was deliriously sick when I wrote them, so yeah.
Think you can do better? Post your own "Your mamma's such a muggle..." jokes in the comments! I'd love to hear more. :)
Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that The Boy Who Lived was a movie on Lifetime.
Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that a broom is for sweeping.
Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that an engorgement charm is the wizarding equivalent of Viagra.
Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that the Weird Sisters are chicks.
Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that the Chamber of Secrets is something a girl should keep to herself until she’s married.
Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that a Norwegian Ridgeback is a dog.
Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that Moaning Myrtle is an adult film.
Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that Aragog is a character in Lord of the Rings.
Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that Felix Felicis was that old black and white cartoon cat.
Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that the Order of the Phoenix is an item on a Chinese take-out menu.
Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that Sirius Black is an eye shadow color.
Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that the Goblet of Fire is a flaming shot.
Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that the Death Stick is a new metal band. \m/ \m/
Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that a fidelius charm is a girlier version of a purity ring.
Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that a Longbottom is a kind of boat.
Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that St. Mungo’s is a Catholic hospital.
Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that’s Edward, not Cedric.
Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that Mad-Eye Moody is a sign that her kid’s on drugs.
Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that a Death Eater is something you see at the circus.
Your mamma’s such a muggle she can’t tell the difference between a Knarl and a hedgehog.
Your mamma’s such a muggle she thinks that catching the golden snitch means you need antibiotics.
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Your mamma's such a muggle she thinks that Hogwarts can be cured with penicillin.
ReplyDeleteYour mamma's such a muggle she thinks the golden snitch is the FBI's best informant.
Your mamma's such a muggle she thinks that Hagrid is what you look like after a bad night's sleep.
Your mamma's such a muggle she thinks that a Hedwig is what you wear when you lose your hair.
LMAO
ReplyDeleteVery nice!
best idea for a topic ever, props to you my friend. i'm a little behind the ball here, but anyways....
ReplyDeleteyou're mommas's such a muggle, when she saw you watching adult swim on saturday instead of having a social life, asked you why you were so in to animagi.
your momma's such a muggle she thinks a dirigible plum is a float in the macy's parade.
your momma's such a muggle, i had to explain to her that a veela never hosted "this old house"
on another harry potter note - should you ever go to co springs and visit tony's bar, ask mary for a blast-ended skrewt. sweet but full of jalapeno seeds, will not disapoint!
Glad you liked it, Sarah. Love your veela joke!
ReplyDeleteI'm not much of a drinker, but I might just have to try the blast-ended skrewt, solely because of its awesome name!